“. . . how would, gone tomorrow feel?” (Awareness – Part 1 blog, Nov 2020) I wrote this blog to help me realize I should cherish who I have, but my answer today landed on, pretty darn good. If that pile of crap I mentioned in yesterday’s blog disappeared, it would feel amazing. Is that then, what I should hope for? Yes, but hope can create various size doses of denial, so can’t stop at hope. I should also address the complete opposite – it will never disappear – thereby adding a dose of reality. Doesn’t, hoping it will end, while addressing it never will, net to zero? Nope, they balance each other out, both supporting the reality of living where I don’t want to. Hope: positive theoretical sustenance. Address: positive practical sustenance. It never helps to continue to deny what’s really happening. Blame doesn’t help either; a lesson I’ve successfully learned. But deny? Too easy; continue on my merry way by staying in the passing lane. How would, it will never end, feel? Horrific, if I also let “feel it” never end. But I don’t have to feel it, to remember it’s there. I can see it as “running in the background”, like a computer process, running independently without user intervention.
A Widow's Walk 