In a Moment

Life changes stink.  I go along, making progress towards not sure what, and then in a moment something happens, turning everything upside down, splitting each day into two extremes, something I’ve never experienced before.  There’s still the times of great joy and lots of fun, but now when alone arrives, as it always has, it’s intense, like me and my feeling  have been discarded.  A friendship, I hoped for, hasn’t happened and so it’s time to let it go.  I’ve felt alone before, but I’ve been able to figure out how to balance it with the hope of making a friend here.  But, just like I can’t make someone love me, I can’t make someone be my friend.  I know I’ve got to replace it with something to get my balance back, but what?  Maybe it’s just acceptance, which means figuring out how to enjoy my own company.  Then there’s the decision to stick to one of only two things I need from someone else.  I feel like I’ve done something wrong.  I know I haven’t but why else would I feel dismissed?  I’m a giver, not needing much, but that doesn’t mean I have an endless supply of yeses.

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