There are still days when the pain of his death is overwhelming. The intensity of the grief returning like it did right after waking up to the reality of that event. Anger, unstoppable tears, intense sadness, and feeling sorry for myself, things that I’ve overcome and yet here they are. Is overcome the right word? If not, maybe I haven’t made as much progress as I thought towards accepting, and adjusting to, living alone. People lose lots of things, like the watch I lost recently, not of any real importance; fairly easy to accept, no life adjustment needed. Then there’s the life-changing losses, like a spouse, eye sight, or use of your legs; the things that land in your lap, something you don’t want, impossible to get rid of. But I don’t have to get rid of that loss to overcome it. When I realized I couldn’t let it linger in my lap, I started tossing it into the air, each time higher and higher creating longer and longer periods of time without it. How long should I let it stay after it comes back down? Just long enough to acknowledge its presence and then give it a big toss.