Eye Ball to Eye Ball

Thinking back generally about my marriage, I would say it was good.  It’s much easier to remember the good times then the hurtful, painful ones.  Why is that?  Because I stepped away.  The hardest times in my life are when I’m right in the midst of it; so close I can’t see the big picture.  For me, life is a wilderness, trees standing tall, blocking the light, or fallen over, blocking the path, but also clearings, streams, and tree-less mountain tops.  Whenever I think my life sucks, it’s only because I find myself eye ball to eye ball with one huge tree.  I can’t turn my head to see past it, or back to see what I’ve accomplished.  One step back won’t cut it.  I’ve got to step away and for a while in order to remember how far I’ve come, all that’s good, what’s broken, and the options ahead of me.  I didn’t choose to step away from my marriage, but I could have, should have.  Taking, not a physical vacation, but a life one; stepping away when the trees stare me down, pausing long enough to put them into perspective.  Remembering where I’ve been and where I’m going.

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