“Concentrate on what is, not what can’t be.” (Eternal on the Water) When I want something so badly it’s hard to get it out of my head. I did this with the house I loved, pushing for the purchase to happen and comparing the one I bought to that one long after it couldn’t be. Getting stuck on something that can’t be maintains all kinds of bad feelings, like regret, failure, disappointment, and also lacking. With something that never was, I still manage to miss it, even though it’s impossible to miss something I’ve never experienced. With something like my marriage, which was but can’t be, the memories of what I had create a deficiency, a deficiency I can’t do anything about. Only after getting past the wanting of it, to make the can’t real, can I focus on what is. I may not like what is, I may even hate it, but it’s the only thing I have to work with. I can make the best of it or be miserable in my dislike and wanting. I may not have that house, but I do have this one. My husband may not be here, but I’m here. What is; the start of possibilities.