Triggers & Filters

Yesterday’s blog reminded me of the times I said the wrong thing to my husband, or he’d take it the wrong way; my right words understood with a different meaning than I intended.  Since this happened when we fought, anger and hurt were the filters through which the words passed, on their way out AND in.  Anger, hurt, and frustration create immediate road blocks to resolutions.  Lashing out, like a boxer, before the other party has the chance to put up their dukes, creates the need to retaliate.  Being hurt pulls all thoughts inward for protection from hurting even more, creating the desire to run and hide.  Throwing words around in an attempt to release the internal pressure of anger and frustration, can make them appear to be directed outward instead of inward, creating the need for bricks and quick drying cement.  The key is recognizing the triggers and controlling the filters.  What makes me react instead of act, not think before I speak?  Do I or some external force control my mouth and ears?  Who is this person I’m speaking or listening to?  Someone or no one?  Always someone, never a punching bag, just an imperfect person like me.

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