True Love’s Toes

The Impressive Clergyman (The Princess Bride 1987): “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.”  I’ll translate for those who haven’t seen it: Marriage, that blessed arrangement, a dream, true love will follow you forever!  Wonderful sentiments, but it’s more like, marriage, that workable arrangement, a hope, true love will be tested! People are flawed and therefore marriage.  To succeed, one of two things must happen when differences in lifestyle, habits, and values inevitably step on true love’s toes: find  a solution or let it go.   Solutions solve problems by taking some kind of action to make them go away.  My husband and I had many successes with solving issues, like the toothpaste tube incident, the sleep or not sleep quandary, and the financial crisis of 2007.  Other things we decided to let go, by being determined to ignore them, saying they don’t matter, which allowed them to show up again and again.  Our determination, much harder than action, was tested, and failed more times than not, because it matters arrives first, while it doesn’t matter gets there in its own sweet time.


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