We didn’t talk about how his death would impact me. More importantly we didn’t write down a plan. Two plans actually, since my needs would differ from his. These plans would have been changed as our lives changed since each life event would result in a different scenario. The plan would have included reasons why, so the plan wouldn’t be questioned when put into place. Stay or move? If move, where? Keep working or retire? Can I afford to retire? If so, what’s the plan, if not, stay with my job or find another? Should I go away for a while? If yes, where and for how long? Who’s going to do the big jobs around the house? Do I know how to use the tractor to plow and mow? If I was a stay-at-home mom, what’s the plan for my children’s care if I had to find a job? Important decisions to be made before, while I was capable, when I could think clearly, not after when each choice was a struggle, just wanting to avoid. All I would have had to do was follow the plan, taking chosen steps, making steady progress towards where I need to be.