Step – Moving

“Keep moving, moving, moving . . . keep those doggies moving, Rawhide . . . Don’t try to understand ‘em . . . !” (Rawhide TV Western 1958) This is the perfect theme song for the keep moving method of avoidance.  Going back to work was just the beginning of moving and not understanding for me.  Weekends, I’d visit friends, if none were coming to me, and I’d go for more than avoiding staying home alone.  You probably think, I went to talk about his death and its impact.  Nope, it was to NOT talk about it.  We could talk about anything else, but not that.  Why?  Because I wanted to appear strong and brave – yup, same reason as tears avoidance.  We didn’t realized that avoiding the “elephant in the room”, was not only not helping, but hurting all of us, by suppressing the freedom found in release.  This isn’t a stay calm and collected method either; it’s tell the truth, don’t sugar coat anything, get angry, cry, swear, whatever it takes to get that elephant off your chest or at least start shrinking her (or him) down to size.  Stop moving can’t hurt you more than you’ve already been hurt, so choose to stop moving and start the flow of understanding.

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