The first thing I thought of regarding taking forward steps is tears. You’ve just got to cry until you can’t cry anymore and cry the next day and every day, as much as you want, whenever you want. His death hurt so bad and yet I was determined to hold back the tears. Why? Because I wanted to appear strong and brave. For who? For my friends and family. That only made them want to appear strong and brave too, allowing our combined determination to build a dam big enough to hold back grief, but not strong enough to not leak, requiring lots of patches until grief’s pressure lessened. What’s the alternative? Cry and appear weak, afraid, confused, hurt, and angry? Heaven forbid if I expressed what I was really feeling. Would that honest behavior have made others, acting brave, uncomfortable? I hope they would have been relieved to let their tears flow, showing their true feelings. There would be freedom in that, all of us together, expressing the sadness we share in the form of tears. I say, ladies, buy waterproof mascara, guys, a big handkerchief, and walk away if you have to, but don’t hold back the tears.