All the Space

Some of the best therapy, in the first few year after my husband died, was the visits from my sisters and friends.  When they came to me, they occupied enough of my thoughts and time to make my husband leave.  There was no room for both, so their visits provided the opportunity to keep different company for a time.  A reprieve from the reminder that he was physically gone by having him gone in my mind as well.  During their visits we didn’t talk very much about him or him being gone.  Instead, they pulled me into the land of the living where there was life to be found talking about our families, jobs, adventures.  The visits were a time to give my heart and mind a well needed break from sadness, thinking about decisions to be made, and being alone.  After they left, he would stay away for a while, but he always came back.  I wanted him to.  I didn’t want him gone forever, I just needed a break.  Almost 6 years later, he’s able to co-exist with my company.  I no longer need him to leave completely because he no longer takes up all the space.

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