Learn How

Sometimes I feel I’ve come so far and other times, like today, it seems I’ve traveled a few feet.  There’s battles I’ve won and others come at me again and again but have yet to be defeated.  For those battles that keep repeating themselves, it’s like being in the movie Groundhog Day, except without the humor.  I learn a little each time, but not enough to win.  Alone is one of them; unloved another.  I’ve been pretty good at pushing them back by making crafts to sell; keeping busy.  I’ve always been like that; lots to do on our farm, cleaning/cooking at the B&B, or easily filling up the little free time that’s left after working a full-time job.  I’m finding myself with nothing to make and having a hard time starting new wood projects.  I think it’s because I’ve never made these projects before, but I’m not sure why that’s a problem.  I’ve got lots of time to take my time, but taking my time isn’t what I do.  I think it’s time to learn how.  As far as alone and unloved, I don’t believe they’re fixable so, again, it’s time to learn how to accept and love myself.

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