Relied On

I recently lost internet access at my house.  I didn’t realize how much I relied on it.  I wanted to post another blog and thought, I’ll just e-mail it to myself and then copy and paste it to my site from work.  Dah, it’s like when the power goes out and I know I can’t watch TV, but try to re-heat dinner in the microwave!  I used to rely on my husband a lot.  It was great that he knew how to do different things than me.  I didn’t think I needed to be super woman and do everything, but I should have at least learned how.  I relied on him for most of my worth, so I still struggle with self-worth; that I, by myself, am worth something to me.  I relied on my husband’s friendship too much and didn’t try very often to develop other friendships.  I relied on life, not respecting the certainty of death, so I wasted it at times, and spent it often enough on unkind words and anger.  I need to take care not to settle into certainty, forgetting that nothing in this world is, and end up thoughtlessly taking things for granted.


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