Not Never

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror after putting my makeup on, I say “Done. This is as good as it’s going to get.”  That’s a fair enough statement for makeup, but not anything else, because of hope.  Hope means confidence, expectation, and anticipation.  Having hope means believing in possibilities no matter what the probabilities are.  I’ve heard stories of parents being told their child will never walk again, but they did.  They should have been told it’s highly unlikely, but not never.  I had a tough time finding hope after my husband died.  I had no hope in things like selling my house at a decent price, finding a new home with my must haves, and finding love again.  Two of these have come to be, but the last is a little tricky because it involves more than just my heart.  I don’t think it’s not possible; more like not probable, so I’ve loosened my hold on hoping for love and focused instead on learning to love myself more, trust myself more, and become more comfortable with my singleness.  How long should anyone hold onto hope?  Some might think it futile to hope forever, but what’s the alternative?  Despair?

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