Understand

It’s hard to ask someone to understand me when I often don’t even understand myself.  Why do I do the things I shouldn’t, why do I struggle with certain things, why can’t I sleep, and so on.  There’s a universal answer; I’m an imperfectly created human being.  But that’s not the answer I’m looking for because that means I can’t be understood and therefore can’t overcome.  At times I’ve tried to understand others, most often without complete success because their lives are more foreign to me than my own.  I only succeed if they tell me about the parts they have figured out, and even then it’s difficult because I can only base my understanding on my perspective, not theirs.  What I’m left with then, as I move closer and closer to understanding, is one of two things; not liking what I’m seeing or temporary acceptance.  If I don’t pick temporary acceptance, not liking it will pick me and I’ll focus on the disliking which leads to complaining instead of understanding.  Choosing temporary acceptance provides the time needed to figure it out and find a permanent fix or at least become capable of controlling it, rather than it controlling me.

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