Not Listening

Today I’m facing another battle; failure to believe the positive life lessons I’ve discovered to be true.  I’m sad about my life, I’m discouraged with who I am, I’m questioning if what I’m doing with my life is fulfilling enough.  I know better because of all the blog posts I’ve written that give me great insight about where I’ve landed.  I do the yeah buts, but instead of those positive counter measures sinking in, I just dismiss them and move on to the next negative emotion or thought.  It’s like being stuck in a whirlpool, spiraling down further and further, being aware a lifeline exists but not reaching out and grasping it.  Getting stuck is always a result of something happening, but I’ve yet to notice how I get unstuck.  If being aware or thinking positive thoughts aren’t solutions, what is?  Is it an action?  Stop what I’m doing, physically and mentally, and do something fun outside, or call someone and find some laughter, or buy myself a present because I’m so awesome?  If it was physically possible, I’d give myself a kick in the pants.  I could give myself a good scolding but I just remembered, I’m not listening.

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