Dreams & Goals

Is it strange that I don’t have a goal to find another man to have in my life?  I’m not sure if it’s because I found my soul mate and all the love I’ll ever need, or lack the energy to make the effort, or I’m terrible at finding social situations where I could meet someone. Sometimes I think it’s because of the way I look, my personality, or my age, which is ridiculous because I’ve seen people of all sizes, ages, and dispositions find someone.  It doesn’t help that I can’t even conjure up an image of myself on a date, holding hands, or kissing anyone but my husband.  For me, what I desire or want to achieve can be called goals only if success is based on my ability and determination alone; when I fail it’s my fault.  I call them dreams and possibilities when obtaining them requires equal effort from someone else, which means I have to rely on patience and chance.  When they don’t become reality, it’s no one’s fault.  Maybe someday I’ll take a chance and dream it’s possible to find someone, but right now I’ll consider it OK to have neither dream nor goal.

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