Time

The hardest days to start are the ones I have off.  I used to look forward to those days when I worked full time.  No long commute, no brain drain, just stay home – yeah!  I have lots of things I love to do, maybe too many, but that still doesn’t make a difference when I first get up and think about how many hours I need to fill.  I’ve always managed to fill up my day with things I need to get done and with my hobbies, but each day off starts with the same question; do I have enough to do to fill up today?  The toaster startled me this morning as I stared out my kitchen window, surrounded by silence, and thought ready, set, go.  Pay some bills, get a few groceries, make a grain salad, and then?  It’s not really about having too much time to do what I want.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want as much time off from work and responsibility as they can get, including me.  It’s about having too much time alone to do what I want.  Add the word alone after the word time and it changes everything.

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