Rebuilt

When my life as a married woman ended, I didn’t think much about starting again. At first I simply followed the daily pattern I had established, ignoring the fact that each day didn’t include him; hold onto the routine, ignore reality.  As time went by, reality got tired of being ignored and I started losing my grip on the routine.  Only when I let go of the routine completely did I see that who I was and what I did had been infused with another person who was no longer there and I needed to create a new life that was just me. There were external things to consider, like moving, but more importantly I had to find a new daily pattern for someone without a full time job, a social introvert, now on her own.  I had to manage my time; what time to get up and how much TV I should watch. I had to figure out how to have fun, to keep engaged in life, and to meet new people (still working on this one). My old life, built over 36 years, thought to be broken beyond repair, now being rebuilt, maybe not better, but definitely different.

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