My kids love to joke about how I have a way to do just about everything – my method. I was a financial analyst/CPA by trade; a very analytical problem solver. I use those skills personally, figuring out the quickest, most efficient way to accomplish things in general, like shoveling a driveway, stacking a dishwasher, or balancing a checkbook. My husband and I had a parenting method – observe other parents to discover what kind of parents we didn’t want to be. Coming up with my method is based on experience, observation, and trial and error which is why I don’t have a method when it comes to death. Each death is unique, not only in the circumstances but in the person who died. Expected or unexpected; kids at home, or not; old or young; a parent, a spouse. It’s not possible to have a method to get through it the next time because it’s impossible for it to happen again in exactly the same way and it’s always a different person. What is not unique is grief, anger, and loneliness come and are survived. Not having a method is OK; many others before me survived, I can too.