My relationship with my husband started with biking, hiking, fishing, and choir practice. We got to know each other and I figured out we had similar hobbies, and personalities and habits that could co-exist; we became friends before we became lovers. I’ve compared our relationship before we married to a job interview – review the resume, conduct the interview, and weigh all the factors to find the right person for the job. Companies seriously consider who they want to bring into their businesses. Why shouldn’t I consider more than physical needs before bringing someone into my life? Our love and friendship lasted through all the phases of our marriage: parenting, two full-time jobs, a farm, a bed and breakfast, hard decisions, and living separately. Liking each other through all of these things was challenging. Marriage was the hardest and most demanding job I’ve ever had considering the numerous job titles and tasks, the level of responsibility and decision making, and the number of years I invested with no retirement benefits. Our friendship was the glue that held our marriage together because when it was just the two of us again, we ended as we started: hiking, fishing, and kayaking.


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