Fathers Could Stay

I can go days, sometimes weeks, without the sadness breaking through, bringing not just tears, but a heart wrenching ache. It could be a song, or a quote, his picture, or a memory I can’t stuff away. Recently it was a song about a Dad leaving a young girl of six. It didn’t have anything to do with unexpected death, but words in the chorus meant that to me; Fathers could stay. I don’t know how my children live with their father’s death. I do know they miss him; the fullness of life that his presence brought, his joy, his determination, and his gift for gab and tall tales. His fathering days were long over but not the friendship his children cherished. I did learn a few things that he did that they miss and even though I can’t take his place, I made it a point to do those things until it now comes naturally. I learned that they hesitate to bring up memories so I won’t get sad. There’s always a part of remembering that brings sadness, but sharing memories is so important in remember him and finding joy in them.

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