February 29, 2016
I had two dreams last night about my late husband. My guess would be one other dream about him in almost five years, so to have two in one night is very unusual. I thinks it’s because I set up this blog yesterday, which is about me and therefore about him. In one dream we were hiking, which we loved to do together, but in the other he was doing something that always conjured up thoughts of hitting him over the head with a cast iron frying pan. I loved (love) my husband but to be honest there were many times I didn’t like him at all. Truth of it is, there were times when he didn’t like me either. The truth is what I have to face in order to be transparent enough to see all of me and face reality. Facing reality is the only way I can change and I need to change in order to continue to live in a world where half of me is missing. I want to live; not survive, not get by, not merely exist.